Tomorrow
by wbelisabeth
Summary: Waking up to reality. The day after season 6 ended.


Title: Tomorrow  
Author: wbelisabeth  
Summary: Waking up to reality. Takes place after season 6 final.  
Words: Roughly 1600  
Rating: Not even PG... I would say G.  
Pairing: Callie/Arizona  
Warnings: Fluffy / Drabble / Time Waster fic ahead!  
Disclaimer: All copyrighted materials referenced within this fan-fiction are not mine. I do not own Grey's Anatomy or any characters of Grey's. This is for entertainment purposes only. I am not making any money out of this whatsoever. Any real people, places, events etc referenced in this work of fiction have been done soin an entirely fictional manner and is not meant to be libelous or defamatory.

Big thank-you goes out to jesross (LJUser) for beta-ing, although there are a few lines in the story that she should get all the credit for.

The light streams into her bedroom. I guess, really, it is back to being our bedroom. The light makes her hair have this red tinge to it, even though it black as black can be. It lights her hair that is strewn all over, what I guess is now, or rather, once more, my pillow. I sit and listen to her breathe. It is amazing at how such a simple sound can be so miraculous. I watch as a small smile grows on her face. My hand reaches out to touch her on its own accord. I lightly brush her cheek before my self control kicks in. For twelve days I have awoken in my sterile room. It seemed that I always woke up cold and it was always too quiet. I soon realized that it was not my home. This is my home. She is my home. Waking up here is as close heaven as I can imagine after the last twelve days of hell. Particularly yesterday.

Yesterday was a terrible, terrible day. Even before the gun wielding man. There was yelling and more than one death stare. Then in came the crazy trigger-happy psycho. I call him a psycho because that is what he was.

I am compassionate. I sympathize with people. I fix them even. But Gary James Clark will never have my compassion or my sympathy. He lost his wife. His one true love. I understand that. I've lost too. Maybe it's not the same, but my brother never got to even meet the love of his life. He was actually killed by someone. Someone consciously got a gun, loaded it, aimed it and fired. Just like Mr. Clark did. Derek Sheppard performed a consultation that confirmed Mrs. Clark's condition. She was already dead. She had already lost the battle. It would seem that her husband didn't see it that way.

Mr. Clark thought that slinging a gun around a hospital, a place where the employees train for years to help, would make him feel better. Would bring some sort of justice, or bring him peace. We health professionals – Doctors, Nurses, Surgeons - we give up so much of our lives so that we can learn to heal, and he comes in accusing us of killing his wife. He goes on some vengeful rampage to quell his anger? He does not deserve my sympathy. He does not deserve my compassion. And he has neither.

I watch her breathe to calm myself. Her chest rises and falls. I allow myself to think for a moment what would have happened that day if he hadn't have come into our hospital. What would have happened? I would be at work right now. Reed Adams and Charles Percy would be too. Meredith Grey would probably still be pregnant, something that would have made Derek Shepard walk around more McDreamy than ever. Alex Karev would have been pestering me about Peds cases and Cristina would be following Teddy doing the same. Callie would still be angry with me and Mark would still be giving me dirty looks every time he sees me in the corridor. I wouldn't have slept in this apartment. I wouldn't have talked to Callie. I would still be totally and utterly miserable and refusing to let anyone acknowledge that I let the love of my life walk away.

Even before yesterday I knew she was it.

I still wanted to be friends. I thought that we would pretend to be friends long enough that eventually something was going to give. Realistically, I expected her to change. I expected her to realize that I was worth more than some crinkly baby and I expected that she would choose me over it.

Judging by yesterday, she may have.

I expected it without thought. I would have let her, just as I let her three weeks ago. I would have let her choose me over her dream of being a mother without a second thought.

And yet she stood between me and a man with a gun.

Me, the woman who an hour earlier, told Callie that I didn't trust her.

I feel anger bubble up once again. But this time, not at Mr. Clark, at myself. At least he fought for his wife. I waited. I waited and stepped back and expected her to change for me.

Because I couldn't change?

Because I couldn't offer to make her happy?

I'm struck by the fact that the thought had not even crossed my mind once before yesterday. I saw her struggle and struggle. She was honest and open and heartbroken. I hadn't even thought about it. That there is the reason I don't want babies. I'm selfish like that.

Sometimes I can't even see what I'm doing, I can't see the big picture, and as a parent that's ridiculous. You cannot focus on yourself for that extra minute, when you do, your kid has fallen off his bike or drunk all the cough syrup from the bottle or 'flown' off the second storey balcony.  
I'm not selfish all the time. I have compassion and sympathy, empathy and love. There are some moments I am selfish, like now in the arms of the woman I love. All I want in the world is for us to be together, the feel of her skin against mine. I want that feeling and I don't care about the sick kids and the broken bones. I want to shut out the world for a few moments.

When you are a parent, you are a parent all the time. There are no 'just for a few moments'.

But it won't just be me.

It will be me and the love of my life.

It will be us and our daughter with dark wavy hair. I imagine she will stomp her feet and cross her arms. A lot. She'll be our little firecracker with her mother's quick temper.

I realize I am smiling. Smiling at the thought of my non-existent daughter. Our daughter. No one else's but mine and Callie's. Huh. That's new.

Callie suddenly sits up with a gasp. When she looks over at me she relaxes and allows herself to breathe. My hands pull her back down, so her skin is once again on mine. She leans in and kisses me softly before whispering 'I love you.' My grip on her body tightens and my eyes meet hers as I whisper it back.

"What time is it?"

"I looked at clock a while ago, it said nine."

"You've been watching me sleep?" She asks embarrassed, nuzzling her nose into my neck, I feel the sudden warmth in her cheeks. Her  
blush only makes my smile wider.

"Yep."

"You are still here." I can't tell if it's a question or a statement. Judging by the wonderment in her voice and the fact she can see and feel me lying next to her, I imagine it is a statement, but I reply anyway.

"Yep." Her fingers start running circles on my stomach and I feel goosebumps start to form. I watch her face and see the wheels turn in her head. While she looks relaxed, there is a crease on her forehead that appears when she's really trying not to blurt something out.

"I meant what I said yesterday. I don't want to lose you. Even if it means that we don't have kids."

I smile. I know I should be more serious about this, I know that, judging from the crease in her forehead, the wheels turning in her head, I should try and reply with a 'I'm sure about this' or something, but this is her payback for the 'maybe' in the elevator.

"I need to talk to you about what I said in the car park yesterday."

Straight away she moves her hand to cup my cheek and I feel awful when she whispers 'it's ok'. The pay off will be worth it Arizona… stick to your guns.

"I thought about it. I mean really thought about it. I – I can't."

She leans in and kisses me with so much passion that I barely remember my own name and I feel worse. I pull away and whisper in her ear.

"I can't do ten. Five max." Hmmm, five? Really Arizona, you could handle five? Yikes. Nope. "Actually… really I think two is kind of my limit."

I hear her pause. Then what I've been waiting to hear for weeks. She starts chuckling, and I can hear both the relief and the joy.

"You are so mean."

"Yeah, but I'm awesome, right?"

She looks in my eyes and her face becomes more serious.

"You are."

She leans in to kiss me once more. This time it's so tender and beautiful. I can't help but feel loved.

"Thank you." She whispers "But don't worry, before we do that I'll take you to Spain. I'll take you to Rome and Paris and London. And Fiji, with bikinis and cocktails with umbrellas in them. I'll take you anywhere you want. I'll try and make you happy every day." I smile again when I become aware that the 'baby talk' distracted me from the fact Callie wants to spend the rest of her life with me.

"All you need to do Calliope is promise me forever. I can do this if you are by my side." I can even want to do this with her by my side.

"That is something you'll never have to worry about." She tucks a hair behind my ear. "But…" She moves closer to my ear and her breath tickles as she whispers "I promise"

My breathe catches in my throat and I let out a strangled 'Good.' My hand slides over her skin again and I get lost.

"Because that's all I need. You are all I'll ever need."


End file.
